The Real Reason We Give Hostess Gifts

Gifts are a way to thank our hosts for inviting us into their personal space.

In the era of cell phones, people are debating the demise of old-fashioned etiquette. “Eyes-on-the-phone” has replaced eye contact. Rather than in-person connection, we communicate through social media posts, likes, and emojis.

So, when someone invites us to their home for a dinner party or an overnight visit, it’s a big step outside the tech-speak of our mobile, gadget-driven world. It’s a welcome into their personal world – a place that deserves meaningful tokens of appreciation.

The Language of Thanks

A hostess gift is a way of giving thanks right up front, before the festivities even begin. It’s a symbol of appreciation for everything your hosts do to make it happen: the planning, cleaning, cooking, serving, fostering conversation and maybe even giving you a place to sleep for the night.

Today’s best hostess gifts fall somewhere between glistening crystal dinnerware – a traditional favorite – and a simple floral bouquet from the corner store. In general, a small token of thanks is appropriate for a short visit and a bigger gift fits a longer, multi-day stay.

Avoiding Gift-Giving Gaffes

The worst thing you can do is give something that seems bland and impersonal. Wine and flowers are old standbys, but your hosts have probably received them many times before. Do they even drink wine? Is one of them allergic to flowers?

Even people who ought to know better … don’t. Former President Barack Obama once committed an inadvertent host-gift gaffe by presenting British Prime Minister Gordon Brown with a selection of American movie hits. However, the Prime Minister isn’t a fan of American movies. Oops!

Seek out something unique that connects to one of your host’s favorite hobbies, like BBQing, boating, collecting art, or gardening. You can also offer something that makes their lives easier or adds to the beauty of their home.

On the flip side, never bring something that creates immediate work for the host, like ingredients for a yet-to-be-baked desert or a complicated cocktail. They’ll feel obligated to stop what they’re doing and tackle that task. This is another vote against flowers, which often must be cut and put in a vase at a time when the host is already busy.

10 Nifty Hostess Gift Ideas

Need some ideas for what to bring the next time you go for a visit? Here are 10 ideas for hostess gifts, from basic to beyond:

1. Gourmet spices or sea salt

2. A personalized coffee mug or water bottle

3. A charming container of honey, olive oil, balsamic vinegar or jam

4. A selection of fine chocolates

5. Party accessories, like a cocktail shaker, bottle opener, coasters, tumblers, or cloth napkins

6. Premium liquor that makes a great addition to a liquor cabinet

7. A customized cutting board honoring the couple or the family

8. A hometown favorite sauce or exotic delicacy If visiting from a distance

9. An assortment of gourmet foods and drinks in a crate or basket

10. An engraved photo frame to commemorate your time spent together